Not Black enough

Does the way I speak
Really matter to you
If I choose not to always speak ebonics
make me less than a slave than you
You not black enough
so I have been told
because I choose classical and opera
instead of hiphop and rap.
You sold out
because you like white people
so I hear many times
You acting white
people have told me many times
What the hell is acting white?
what is black enough
I am not black enough
I keep hearing every week
because I speak 3 languages
and I can read 3 more a bit
Black people don't know another languages
so I have been told
Black people don't have time to learn languages
while the surviving racism, police brutality
I am not black enough
because they say i never experience the black life
or any hard times.
so they say
so they believe
so they assume
I am not black enough
because I talk white
I write white
I act white
I am into "white people things"
they say
they assume
they believe
I am not black enough
because I am not radical or militant enough
they say
I end looking at the sky
thinking as the birds soar
looking at the sun
and then looking at my skin
and thinking I am darker than you
What is not black enough
but I guess asking what is not black enough
proves to them that I am really not black enough

How To Be More Like Frida Kahlo, As Told By Frida Kahlo

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/07/06/frida-kahlo-birthday-advice_n_7716320.html?utm_hp_ref=arts&ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000027

around me

around me
I do not see
Who are the angels
Surely not me
once again
I'm broken
once again
I do not believe in him
Again I drown
in the darkness of the ocean
where are the angels
they let me
die in the dark night
depths of the sea
Where is God
why he abandoned me?
Why  has he not protected me
Where is this heaven?
where is heaven?
I suppose that heaven is a myth
Where are my guardian angels
I'm broken
I damaged
I am a person
where is the light?
dying
broken
damged
shame
unloved
with no angels around me
There is no light in my life
darkness
death
brokeness
shame
no love
obscurity

a mi alrededor

a mi alrededor
No veo
¿Quiénes son los ángeles
Seguramente no me
otra vez
Estoy roto
otra vez
Yo no lo creo
Una vez más me ahogo
en la oscuridad del océano
¿dónde están los ángeles
me dejaron
morir en la noche oscura
profundidades del mar
¿Dónde está Dios
por qué me has abandonado?
¿Por qué no la mía protegida
¿Dónde está el cielo?
¿dónde está el cielo?
Supongo que el cielo es un mito
¿Dónde están mis ángeles Gurdián?
¿por qué no registran este lago salado
Estoy roto
dañé
Soy una persona
¿dónde está la luz?
muriendo
roto
damged
vergüenza
sin amor
sin ángeles a mi alrededor
No hay luz en mi vida
oscuridad
muerte
brokeness
vergüenza
sin amor
oscuridad

autour de moi

autour de moi
Je ne vois pas
Qui sont les anges
Sûrement pas moi
encore une fois
Je suis cassé
encore une fois
Je ne le crois pas
Encore une fois je me noie
dans l'obscurité de l'océan
où sont les anges
ils me ont laissé
mourir dans la nuit noire
profondeurs de la mer
où est Dieu
pourquoi il m'a abandonné?
Pourquoi at-il pas de moi protégée
Où est ce ciel?
où est-ce paradis?
Je suppose que le ciel est un mythe
Où sont mes anges Gurdian?
pourquoi ont-ils pas enregistré de ce lac salé
Je suis cassé
Je endommagé
Je suis une personne
où est la lumière?

mourant
cassé
damged
honte
mal aimé
avec pas des anges autour de moi
Il n'y a pas de lumière dans ma vie
que l'obscurité
mort
brokeness
honte
pas d'amour
obscurit

I just write

I just write
I feel that no understands
I just post
because what I want to say doesn't come out
or is it I don't know how to say it.
feeling trapped
like an animal in the zoo
or side freak in a circus
caged like a roaring lion
drowning in darkness
filled with rage
rage that's like the fiery sun
but then i cannot say
because it will come out wrong
so I just write
no i just post.
hoping the feeling of wanting out of a body
that was never yours at all
or was always someone else's to control
since you could remember
but then you just write
because words won't come right
because you feel trapped.
then you realize your voice is stiflen
because what you say is not want you really want say
trying to convey the message that you feel lost
angry and cannot see a future
beneath the firey sun
or the darken clouds
you cannmake any one understand what you say
because words come out wrong so
you just write that
I am tired of fighting
I have no fight left.
All I want is a fresh start
but I have to fight
I am tired, weary of fighting, struggling
maybe drowning in darkness is good